My bloody Valentine 206 Style!

( A handsome man ((Andy)) and his girlfriend ((Kayla)) are out at an expensive restaurant. She is a shockingly beautiful supermodel and she knows it. She is looking around the room to ensure everyone has noticed her.)

Kayla: I can’t believe you only brought me a dozen roses! For our second valentines together you should have brought me two dozen. Why do I even put up with you considering how hopeless you are?

Andy: Because you are a saint my dear. (Kisses Kayla on the cheek as the wine arrives).

Kayla: This wine is not cold enough. Ugh! I like my red wine to be chilled like my white. And don’t give me that ‘it is not how you are supposed to drink it non-sense’. who says? Oh, and you should have bought me the $400 bottle of the Ama... Ama... Ama-whatever.  (She pouts) You don’t think I am worth it. 

Andy: (distressed) That is not true! I love you pumpkin! You are worth a 4,000 dollar bottle of wine every time we go out. If you don’t like it here we shall leave at once. (Andy throws several $100 bills on the table and stands. He helps Kayla into her very expensive coat and they walk out)

(Cupid sits in the corner with Psyche watching the disgusting display)

Cupid: Wow! It is like Bitch-zilla on amphedamines.

Psyche: Cupie, you know I never understand you pop-culture references. Personally though I think if  a man is that impotent he brings it on himself... (Cupid holds up a hand)

Cupid: Your right Psych, but lets give the guy a hand. Lets find him the perfect girl. Whatever happened to that flight attendant  from Savannah? You know, the one with the really amazing...

Psyche: (interrupting) Married two months ago to that investment banker. What about that sweet young school teacher; the one who keeps small rodents in her classroom for the tots?

Cupid: They are called hamsters and she is a lesbian.

Psyche: (excessively dramatic sigh) What about... that exotic archaeologist? The one who works in the basement of the metropolitan museum. She is kind, beautiful, and works far too hard.

Cupid: Your brilliant Psych! But first we need to get rid of that heinous little double zero. Who do we hate that much?

Psyche: (immediately)  Priapus! Send her to Priapus. The fact that he is a god will appeal to her, for all of five minutes before she starts complaining again. And lets face it I would try to set your brother up with a hyena if I didn’t respect all the God’s creatures and feel it would be unfair to said hyena.

Cupid: (adoringly) And people wonder why I love you. (Business like) Ok, I’ll go find Andy his archaeologist and you take care of Kayla. (Cupid poofs out and after a beat poofs back in to leave money for the bill. He gives a quick kiss to Psyche and then poofs back out.)

Psyche: (sulkily) That hardly seems fair! (poofs out)

(end scene)

Writing about place

You would miss the exit off the highway for Sedona if you weren't looking. All you get is one lousy sign informing  you to turn in two miles. The first time I took that exit off I-17 was to visit my high school and see if it was right for me. The exit is very small and you have to decelerate quickly. Turn left. You drive for six mile before you enter the Village of Oak Creek. It is an extremely windy road. The first time I went I was staring out of the front window waiting to see the red rocks I had heard so much about. Turn after turn and all I  had seen were scraggly shrubs. Then the car rounded an especially shrubby hill and I saw the red rocks. In one instant I understood why people crossed oceans for them. Who wouldn’t travel the world to see rust-red stone spires jutting up into a bright blue sky like a triumphant fist. Within moments the rocks, which had seemed so mythically large that I had wondered  if they had taken Atlas’ place holding up the heavens, were right outside my window. I never could have imagined that six miles from the highway there was such beauty. I would have never thought a landscape that looked like it had escaped from  fairyland was so close to the mundane irritations of the regular world. If I had missed that tiny exit I never would have found my way home. 

How to tell a true war story character narration - Lemon's sister

I sat at my desk and looked out numbly through the window. Cars drove by as a child played across the street and Mr. Ashwood was even creeping out of Mrs. Carvers house having spent the night while her husband was away on business. The world went on outside the window but on this side of the glass the world had ended. It had come crashing down around my head without remorse or warning.  I picked up the envelope that had encased the world-destroying news and read aloud, “Kiley”. My brother had mentioned Rat in a few of his letters; his best friend and fellow prankster. Before I had even read the cold letter from the army informing me of my brother’s death I had read Rat Kiley’s very sentimental letter. It had been heartfelt and while it was not Shakespeare it did illustrate how much Rat had loved my brother. which made the unrelenting ache in my chest even worse. I wish that letter had never come. I wish Rat had not plagued me with images of my wild, fun, and yet trustworthy brother. Most of all I wish my brother would burst through the door of our childhood home. It was the home we had lived in before our parents died, the home our aunt had raised us in long after, and the home in which I sat praying this had all been some horrible mistake. It had to be a mistake because if it wasn't it meant I would never receive another bone-crunching hug that lifted my feet off the ground. I would never get another of those hugs that I secretly relished while I loudly protested that I was a young lady and too old for such nonsense. Rat Kiley said he would “look me up” when the war ended but I didn't want him to. I picked up the letter and put it in the desk’s ashtray. I set it on fire and as I watched the news of my brother’s death burn I admitted to myself what I would never say out loud. I was not going to write back to Rat Kiley and tell him to “look me up” because I secretly wished it had been him. Why had my big brother died and he been spared? As I watched the last of the letter smolder I recognized that, God forgive me, I was burning Rat Kiley. I was wishing that he had been blown up by that mine. I was pretending that the letter had come from my brother; a heartbroken note informing me that his best friend Rat Kiley had died...

Classmate's blog

Everyone enjoy Maggie Schaffer's blog:http://maggiesmarvelousmayhem.blogspot.com/

Her “Letter to my Friends” is extremely honest and very amusing. As she outlines what she thinks of as her faults we actually get a better picture of her strengths.