( A handsome man ((Andy)) and his girlfriend ((Kayla)) are out at an expensive restaurant. She is a shockingly beautiful supermodel and she knows it. She is looking around the room to ensure everyone has noticed her.)
Kayla: I can’t believe you only brought me a dozen roses! For our second valentines together you should have brought me two dozen. Why do I even put up with you considering how hopeless you are?
Andy: Because you are a saint my dear. (Kisses Kayla on the cheek as the wine arrives).
Kayla: This wine is not cold enough. Ugh! I like my red wine to be chilled like my white. And don’t give me that ‘it is not how you are supposed to drink it non-sense’. who says? Oh, and you should have bought me the $400 bottle of the Ama... Ama... Ama-whatever. (She pouts) You don’t think I am worth it.
Andy: (distressed) That is not true! I love you pumpkin! You are worth a 4,000 dollar bottle of wine every time we go out. If you don’t like it here we shall leave at once. (Andy throws several $100 bills on the table and stands. He helps Kayla into her very expensive coat and they walk out)
(Cupid sits in the corner with Psyche watching the disgusting display)
Cupid: Wow! It is like Bitch-zilla on amphedamines.
Psyche: Cupie, you know I never understand you pop-culture references. Personally though I think if a man is that impotent he brings it on himself... (Cupid holds up a hand)
Cupid: Your right Psych, but lets give the guy a hand. Lets find him the perfect girl. Whatever happened to that flight attendant from Savannah? You know, the one with the really amazing...
Psyche: (interrupting) Married two months ago to that investment banker. What about that sweet young school teacher; the one who keeps small rodents in her classroom for the tots?
Cupid: They are called hamsters and she is a lesbian.
Psyche: (excessively dramatic sigh) What about... that exotic archaeologist? The one who works in the basement of the metropolitan museum. She is kind, beautiful, and works far too hard.
Cupid: Your brilliant Psych! But first we need to get rid of that heinous little double zero. Who do we hate that much?
Psyche: (immediately) Priapus! Send her to Priapus. The fact that he is a god will appeal to her, for all of five minutes before she starts complaining again. And lets face it I would try to set your brother up with a hyena if I didn’t respect all the God’s creatures and feel it would be unfair to said hyena.
Cupid: (adoringly) And people wonder why I love you. (Business like) Ok, I’ll go find Andy his archaeologist and you take care of Kayla. (Cupid poofs out and after a beat poofs back in to leave money for the bill. He gives a quick kiss to Psyche and then poofs back out.)
Psyche: (sulkily) That hardly seems fair! (poofs out)
(end scene)
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